TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
