week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
