dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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