hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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