just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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