I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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