What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
