every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
