I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
