I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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