4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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