i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
