its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize