So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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