dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I feel great
I just peed on a car
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
