my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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