Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize