Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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