Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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