Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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