It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
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at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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