so explain again why im purple
no
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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