so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
