I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
