And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
