In the future we'll all be gay
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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