saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
