so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
