I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
