I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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