He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
