I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
