Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.

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(831): View more from California

maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.

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(941): View more from Florida

Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?

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(805): View more from California

Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?

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(410): View more from Maryland

Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.

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(805): View more from California

Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores

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(519): View more from Ontario

I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.

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