Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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