I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize