worst night to have a conscience
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
