theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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