I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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