In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
