Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
