True but thats because hes a fetus.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
