so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i dont even know how to be here
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
