That's intense
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize