Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
