its not stalking. its research.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
