Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
