No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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