Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize