Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You work out of a Hotel?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
