i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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