I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize