You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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