If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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