I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
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