I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize