Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
