32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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