Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
