Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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