dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just found puke in my bra..
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
