...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
