Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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