There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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