she smelled like a LAN party
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
