you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
